Checking it twice,

I'm going to list who's naughty not nice. 

The result of all this selfish, centred behaviour in my business life seem to be rooted in reactions to attacks on the basic basic needs of people in business. I the greater world we humans have three basic needs. We have the need for security, which could be a place to live or a food supply. We have a social need to fit in to our world. To know we have a place in our pack. And we have a need to procreate and continue the species. When any of these are threatened we react, badly usually.

A well balanced person is comfortable in all three of these areas. If though someone is not as capable in keeping these three in balance, this person will typically try to overachieve in one or two of the others to make up for this basic deficit. We can think of the person struggling financially who becomes the lothario. Or the recently separated fellow that throws himself into his work. 

Now if someone threatens any of these three areas we naturally try to defend our turf in these areas. And consequently we develop resentments to those we feel have hurt us.

In business this is no different. These areas are only slightly different. But in our business life we have a need to feel secure in our job, that we are valued both by employer and fellow employees, and that we can grow and develop ensuring viability of the business and our career.

Nor is it any different in the business world with these. We strive to keep a balance. Not feeling appreciated by the boss? Put your head down and work harder, stay late or put in a weekend. And if we get threatened we retaliate. Maybe not immediately, or possibly not at all really but in our mind oh boy. I am going make that person miserable. What do you mean you're going with the competition??!! I'll show you!

These resentments we build up over time are what can kill our business careers. They bring about the unguarded moment where we say the thing that we shouldn't have. A resentment may keep us from an event that would have otherwise been very important. Not make a call, skip a meeting, speak a confidence. 

Then weeks, months years later we get called into the office. And we get reprimanded or lose a client or miss a promotion. And its that persons fault. They just don't see my value, wait till they see this. All the while we had set this ball in motion with our actions of time past. For us to be truly successful we must eliminate these resentments from our lives. But how?

For me, I've found that first listing them is the best way to start. Just grab a blank sheet of paper and start writing. And what should this list look like? How about 1 column of anyone you've been pissed at, ever in your business career. If you've called them Motherf&%$@* then they should be on the list.

My boss

Customer 1

Service guy

Receptionist 3


Ahh you noticed that the last is not a person. Very true. If there is an institution you feel wronged by or a principle that makes you crazy then put it on the list. No wrong answers here on this list. It will never be graded. The only question becomes, how free of the resentments do you want to be? How successful would you like your career to be? 

Remember this is just a start. But a very good one. Next we will explore what to do with this list.

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