Well its well past 9:00 AM and I have just started writing todays missive. Usually I (or at least in theory) would have posted by now, showered and been out the door. I managed to complete the last two of three items here but I am now sitting at a local coffee joint typing feverishly.
You see I succumbed to my own powerlessness this morning. I opened WordPress this morning to begin my new morning ritual and low and behold there was a red icon square with a 2 in it denoting the availability of updates to the platform. Being technological whiz that I am my first set of thoughts was whether the site would continue to run AT ALL without the updates. Of coarse I know that it would and that I should just get writing but no... 3, 4, 5 times I started typing only to go back to the Dashboard contemplating how long each of the changes would take.
Finally I clicked the update button, entered my FTP password and watched the status thingy at the bottom tell me how much in the process had been completed. Hmmm, seems to be taking a bit longer than instantly so I'll just check the latest on Drudge while this process chugs along. Several articles later I check back and WordPress hasn't expressly told me its done, so on to the NationalPost for some Canadian news.
Back I go to WordPress to find the same message as 20 minutes before. I click, sure enough its done and I can begin. Then, bing! New Icons with more numbers. Damn, in for a penny, and I click more updates.
Four times I'm drawn into this cycle of avoidance that I think is so important. I can't stop myself. Then I notice the time and that I have to get going so all the while in the shower I chide myself at my lack of self control to write as I promised myself.
Of coarse you may point out that I did manage to finish and post this. True but this is due to a change that gives me the resilience to return to the task. In the not to distant past I would have just as willingly gotten back to writing and then the unmanageability of my thinking would kick in as I rethink the why I couldn't write. What the ramifications are going to be to my psyche which then may have caused re-emergence tomorrow morning of the state of powerlessness. Although I may just think, well I missed yesterday its no big deal today, I'll get back on the horse Saturday and ride that baby to the end of the month. Tough riding a dead horse though, even a whip is not practical to make it go.
Current time - 12:52 PM and I've finished. Maybe I have a little power. Is it mine? We will explore power later this month and decide.